Fake French
December 5th, 2009
Let me poke a hole in my tough, plaid-accented, male exterior for a second to lay a truth out there: I’m lonely.
I can think of all sorts of potential contributors: First time living on my own, move to the city has left me disconnected from my regular coworker social group, new role has involved a lot less travel, new role hasn’t really generated a lot of new friends, lack of any meaningful relationship with a significant other, general “winter” doldrums, the fact that 2009 was a shitty year for music, new reliance on public transit, I’m just making this up as I go along now.
The hardest part of coming out and admitting that to myself is that I really don’t have a plan for how to rectify the situation. I’ve got lots of suggestions such as classes, meetups, online dating, and so on. This all feels so incredibly foreign though. Making new friends is one thing when you’re forced into a situation where everyone else is at the same disadvantage. It’s much harder when it’s just you and that’s a wall I’m having a hard time breaking through.
Not sure what I’ll do, but I do know something will need to change. In the meantime, I’m two weeks out from a return trip home for the holidays, which I’m notably excited for. Hard to argue with an instant (if temporary) fix for all the problems listed above.
The universe is a figment of its own imagination....
Lisa
December 6th, 2009 at 12:15 am
Aww Sean, I feel your pain. This has been a shitty year. Know of any teaching jobs in your area? I’ll come keep you company
(Unfortunately I can’t even find work, so I’m a notch below you on the crap-feeling barometer.)
When you come back to Canada, come visit us Ontarians you know and love…we miss you
Erik
December 6th, 2009 at 12:24 am
Yeah, I know the feeling. Moving to Kelowna’s been a big big change. Couldn’t find a soccer team, and the working from home certainly doesn’t help.
Kay
December 6th, 2009 at 12:56 am
*hug* I hope you start feeling better soon. I’m going to be going thru the same thing right away when I move to Kelowna sadly.
Brian
December 6th, 2009 at 2:14 am
I went through the exact same thing out here in Paris. All I can tell you is that, in my experience and in the experience of everybody else here, it always works out in the end. You have to put in some effort, give it time, and you have to plow through those moments of loneliness.
Incredibly I didn’t have this problem when I moved to Vancouver. But I think that was simply because I moved into a sitation where, as you say, many others were at the same disadvantage of being in a new town with no friends. I’ve had to work a lot harder at it over here. But the effort has been worth it. Stick with it. And don’t forget to periodically call home and your old friends to remind yourself what a friendly voice sounds like.
LDUB
December 6th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
Slynch, nobody said you were tough buddy. Make sure you get a really good Christmas sweater for Bartons Christmas party. Keep truckin you’ll maker. By the way let me know if you are interested in that Whitefish trip.
Cloe
December 6th, 2009 at 11:58 pm
I saw a school bus downtown today with LYNCH written across it. Made me miss you… The fact that it was a short bus made it all the more poignant. That aside, a feel for you babe… but you know what the answer to your dilemma is right? Starts with a ‘V’… ends with a bit of an ‘ouver’?
Sean
December 8th, 2009 at 1:11 am
Thanks everyone for the empathy and commiseration. A number of people mailed me privately as well to chime in. As always misery loves company
Unfortunately, no silver bullet, but as Brian said, I’ll be sticking with it for the foreseeable future.
Arch
December 9th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
If anyone of us can do it, its you bud. We’ll get to it over a few Guinness in 2 weeks.